Thankful

There are so many beautiful things I am thankful for today.  Since I have not always appreciated the little things in my life, and I am sometimes disatisfied with the way life goes, I have been making a conscience effort to truly appreciate how good I have it, and to recognize that I am so blessed.  Here are a few things I noticed today, and gave thanks:

I woke up in a warm home and a comfortable bed.

My husband lay sleeping beside me. 

I slept all night in a safe place.

I got in the shower, and lovely warm water came out of the spout. 

I had an abundance of fresh food to eat. 

I cooked my breakfast in the comfort of my home over a working stove.

My two youngest children are still living at home, and they both gave me a hug and told me they love me.
All my children are safe and healthy, and I have a great relationship with each of them. 

My married children have wonderful spouses.

Both my parents are still alive and healthy, and I got to talk to both of them today and we said 'I love you'.

I have peace in my heart.

I have the love of many good friends in my life. 

My car started and I got to drive where I needed to go. 

I am healthy and pain free.

Noticing all these things today helps me feel happy and blessed. Really, I could go on and on.  What's on your list today?  Your list will be different than mine, and all the things I listed today could be lost to me tomorrow.   Life can change rapidly, so the lesson is to appreciate what we have today and be thankful for the blessings we have, when we have them.  It's so easy to look back and say, 'I wish I still had...I wish I had appreciated it.'

There have been days when one or more of those listed above was not the case in my life, which makes them all the sweeter.  I have slept in uncomfortable, cold places.  I have cried with a broken heart alone in my bed.  I have showered in cold water.  I have been hungry and wondered how I would get some food.  I have missed my children terribly when they were not with me.  I have worried over more than one of my babies as they lay in a hospital bed, clinging to life.  I have had a period of time in the past when I didn't get along my parents. I have had days of crying out to God for some peace in my heart.  I have had broken down cars that wouldn't start when I needed to take my baby to the doctor.  I have had surgeries and times of extreme pain.  You have probably experienced many of these same things in your life and you are with me.

I know there are so many in my country and throughout the world who are in the midst of a crisis and are just trying to survive today.  My heart breaks for them and I pray for all my fellowmen, that their suffering will be eased and they will have what they need and want.  What I also know, is that on any given day we can find something to be grateful for.  Not all days will be like today when my list is very, very long.  But I will always have a list.

I hope you always have one, too.

Love, Michelle

Be of Good Cheer

Let's try an experiment together, my friend.  See how many time you can smile in any one day, and keep a count.  Smile when you talk to someone, smile at a stranger you pass, smile when you think of a happy memory.  Keep a count, and then see if, at the end of the day, you feel happier. 

Tomorrow is Monday, and admittedly, it's not my favorite day of the week.  Back to the grind.  So I'll try the experiment with you, and we'll see if we have a better Monday than we would normally have.  Smile as many time as you can and keep a tally.  I'll bet we can smile over 100 times.  That's my goal. 

I  always feel so blessed if someone smiles at me, and I know someone feels blessed to see your smile, too.  It's a small thing with big results, and it is a kindness you can bestow on anyone, anytime, that will life their spirits and yours.  You can instantly cheer someone up a little, and you will be cheered, too.

We all have so much to be grateful for, and if we focus on those blessings and smile, we will be of good cheer and spread it around.  What a wonderful world if we all went around spreading good cheer among all we meet!  We can do it together.

Have a wonderful Monday, my friends.  Make the most of each day you've been given.

Love, Michelle

Finding Joy

Life seems to be a series of highs and lows for me.  Sometimes intense pain and intense joy in the same day, or even the same hour.  And years ago when it seemed like the ONLY thing I felt was pain, I wanted to feel peace and joy more than anything.  What I didn't know back then was that the secret to feeling joy was a simple thing.  But now I know,  and you know the reason I'm here is to help you heal from whatever is hurting you.  So I'll share this secret with you. 

Think back,  before The Bomb dropped (that's how I refer to The Event that turned my world into a pile of rubble), as far back as you need to go, and think about a moment in your life when you felt joy.  Now, say 'thank you' that you felt it, even if it was a short moment in time.  Feel the gratitude that at least you know what it feels like, and that you know the difference between joy and pain.  I know, darlin....you are very clear on the difference, aren't you? 

Now let's move forward, and find that great secret of feeling joy again.  Think of something, right now-today, that you are grateful for.  It can be anything.  A friend that called you, a great meal that was prepared by loving hands for you, the hug you got that made you feel comforted, your child or children, the love of someone close to you, a mentor or teacher that gave you their time to teach you something they are passionate about, a new restaurant you found that you love, the stranger who smiled at you, the flowers you saw on your way to work....anything at all.  Whatever it is that you found to be grateful for, think about and focus, and say, 'thank you'.  Whatever you feel gratitude for and focus on will increase.  The secret of finding joy is Gratitude.

It's amazing to me that the simplest things can cause the greatest healing and peace.  Years ago, I didn't believe that for a minute, and maybe you feel that way, too.  I felt so broken that I thought nothing could make feel better.  Over time I've learned there ARE things I can do to heal and feel better, and they are simple and pure and totally doable.  Gratitude is an easy and very effective tool for healing.

I recommend reading, 'The Magic', by Rhonda Byrne to get you started to feeling happier almost instantly.  Love, love, love that book.  I needed the reminder that good things come to those who are grateful for what they have already been given...and they are given more.  If you want more joy and happiness, be grateful for the joy you have felt in the past, and what you can find to be grateful for today.  You will then have more joy now.  This principle can be applied to ANYTHING you want to have.  Whatever we are grateful for, multiplies.  And it's all in our own hands to create and control.  What a relief that SOMETHING is, right?  So much in life is not, so I love to find something that is.

My hope for you is to have all the joy and happiness your heart has ever dreamed of, my friend.

Love, Michelle

Desires Lead You to Your Path

As we approach Fall, my favorite time of the year, I start to feel all warm and fuzzy about pumpkin cookies and corn stalks tied together on the front porch. I have a sudden urge to begin my annual viewing of 'Hocus Pocus' with Bette Midler a million times between now and Halloween.  I love cooler nights and the smell of leaves when they crunch.  My kids are back in school and Autumn is as much a renewal to me as Spring.  I often feel like making huge decisions about my future in the Fall.  I plan, I make goals, I read new books, I thirst for more knowledge and new experiences.  Can you relate to any of this?  The 'Hocus Pocus' part especially, right?  I know!  That movie never gets old to me.  LOVE it. 

I wonder if maybe you think about going back to college, or taking a trip to somewhere you've always wanted to see.  Or learn to speak Italian, or take a cooking class.  Do you realize those desires and thoughts you have are a signal?  A finger pointing to your path.  The things you desire in your life are God-given, and are clues to things you were meant to accomplish or experience. 

Only you can influence the world, or your corner of it, the way you can.  You are not just one in a million, you are the only.  Who else could do such a great job of being you?  You have a unique ability to do things and/or influence an outcome differently than anyone else can.  Isn't that exciting?!  There are people you can help that no one else can reach.  There are things that are meant to be done that no one else can do in exactly the same way you can.  There are events that are meant to occur that only you can make happen.  You are the star, my friend!

Get excited with me!  Sign up for the class...book the trip....check out the college course online, or better yet, make an appointment and go in and talk to Admissions about the possibility of attending.  Read the book about the subject that you want to be an expert in.  Get your passport.  Whatever it is that is calling to you....ANSWER!  Be brave and do what you love, what nudges you forward.

And for the love of Halloween, watch 'Hocus Pocus' with me.  I'll get the popcorn.

Love, Michelle

How to Survive Infidelity

My dear friend, if you are dealing with the pain of your spouse or significant other betraying you, I want to help you survive and thrive.  In those first few days after the discovery of betrayal, the pain you feel is searing and debilitating.  I would love to wrap my arms around you and whisper words of comfort to you.  I do understand the hopelessness you may feel, and I want to offer a few ideas that were helpful to me, and that I pray will be helpful to you.

First, do one thing every day that you WANT to do.  Do at least one thing every day that brings you some peace, happiness, joy or comfort.  Be it small or grand, put yourself first for at least a few minutes and do something you enjoy.  Your feelings matter, and since your spouse has done something to hurt you, you must counter that by doing something to heal yourself.

Second, be gentle and kind to yourself.  While there may be a tenancy to beat yourself up, please don't.  This is not the time to be hard on yourself.  This is the time to be your own best friend.  Treat yourself as you would your dearest, closest friend.  Protect, serve, encourage and love YOU.

Third, do something kind for someone else at least once a day.  Doing so will heal you far more than you realize.  When you think you have nothing to give, if you reach out to one other human being, you will find that it will help you feel good inside and will take the focus off the pain you feel, even if only for a few minutes.  It will strengthen you and bless you to do something kind for another.

Fourth, believe that you deserve to be treated with respect.  If your spouse (or anyone else in your life) does not treat you with the respect you deserve, then some decisions about who you allow in your life will need to be made.  You may want to refer to my blog posting earlier this year, titled 'What About Unhealthy Relationships?'   Putting some distance between you and your spouse may be necessary for your survival....only you can decide that.

I know that you can pick yourself up and not only survive, but eventually thrive after this gut wrenching experience.  I did, and you can, too.  We are stronger than we think we are, and we are certainly stronger than whatever they can throw at us.  My love and support go with you, my dear friend.

Love, Michelle

Letting Go

One of the most difficult things about  being a parent, at least of adult children, is letting go and allowing them  to make choices without our input.  I think all parents and grandparents struggle with this.  Even aunts and uncles and teachers and leaders struggle.  It's so hard to keep our mouth shut and let those younger and with less experience make their own mistakes, isn't it?

But it is VITAL to their growth.

And really, it's vital to our own.  It's called 'free agency' and every human being is granted that beautiful gift by God.  So doesn't it make sense, that since He allows every person to choose, and then succeed or stumble, that WE should allow the same?  It is a sign of maturity and peace when we support and love, and butt out.  Without comment, without a guilt trip, without a warning, and without judgment.  Just love and let go.  God has done that for you and I,  and He expects us to learn to do that for others.  Our children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, parents, siblings, friends, neighbors....every adult.

Understand that, of course,  younger children need guidance and correction.  But it is an entirely different story once they reach adulthood.  And yet, we have such a hard time letting go, don't we?  We are so worried about them, and our love for them is so intense that we want the very best for them.  We feel like we know what that is, and they do not.  Maybe we do, maybe we don't.  I do know that God knows what is best for them, and I better follow His example of stepping back and letting them learn, without my interference.

If help or opinions are ASKED for, then by all means, share your wisdom and thoughts.  But if it's not, then we need to show some love and restraint. 

My dear friend, if you see yourself as one who feels that others need your help and advice, regardless of whether they asked for it or not, some changes may be in order.  Tactics like trying to persuade them or guilt them into doing what you feel like is right can only damage your relationship with them.  They will resent what you are trying to do.  Remember how it was to be a young adult, and how you may have resented similar comments aimed at you.  Please love them enough to step back.  If you can do that for them, the reward for you is immeasurable.  You will have more peace, and the burden is lifted from your shoulders.  You don't have to fix their life.  God will be there for them, and you can relax.  If a mistake is made, it's okay.  It's their mistake, their lesson, their life.  You can just focus on yourself and what God would like YOU to learn, and trust that He is in charge and has it all figured out.  What a relief!

If you are an adult who is dealing with a family member who just can't seem to realize that you are able to make your own choices, it's perfectly fine to either call them on it, or keep your distance.  It's a form of control, and you know how I feel about that.  No one has the right to make decisions for you, no matter how good their intention are, or how right they feel they are.  Giving in to their guilt trip only encourages them to keep 'guiding' you.  Stand up and claim your authenticity and be true to you.  You and God can decide together which road you should take, or how you should correct any mistake you may have made.  He sees mistakes differently than we do....they are simply learning tools.

Take a deep breath and trust in yourself and in God just a little bit more today.

Love, Michelle

Why Did THAT Happen?

My youngest daughter had emergency surgery last week to remove her appendix, and later she asked me an interesting question.  'Mom, how did I attract that to myself?'

I got my answer for her from the great Dr. Joe Vitale, who himself had a similar medical condition in his own life and he had people ask him the same question.

"If you attract everything to yourself, then why did THAT happen?''

Joe answered by saying that sometimes our bodies need to take a break from the speed at which we are living our life, which he admits is very, very fast.  It can also be that we needed or wanted (subconsciously, of course) the experience for one reason  or another.  In my daughters case, she figured out for herself that maybe it was a way for her and her older brother to bond better, since he had the same surgery several years ago at a very young age.  He knew exactly how she felt and was very compassionate and comforting to her right after she came out of surgery, sitting next to her and holding her hand....something they had not experienced before.  The two of them feel closer, and as a mother, there is such joy for me to see that. 

So maybe in your own life, you can think situations that you have thought the same thing..."Why did THAT have to happen?"

The answer will be found in whatever good resulted from the experience.  And there will always be something....you may have to look pretty hard to find the good, but it is there if you search long enough and  think about each possibility.  And, if you can't find any good that happened, wait a while and it will be revealed to you.  Sometimes years later.

I have a situation in my own life that took years to reveal the good...or maybe what took so long was me and my frame of mind.  But I finally got it, and now it all makes sense. And I'm grateful for the experience, even though it was painful.

You are brilliant, my dear friend, and I know that whatever happens in your life, you will find the good.  Because that's just the kind of person you are....always searching...and finding.

Love,
Michelle