Have you forgotten how great you are? Let me help you remember....
When we are babies, we know our worth and we love every single thing about ourselves. We know that we deserve to have everything we want and need. We communicate that clearly and without apology. We know our importance and our place. Since we have just arrived on earth, we have just recently been with God, so lets take a clue from that and revisit how wonderful each human being is....and that means YOU, my friend. Let's remember a few things about You.....
Remember that You are loved and adored by the Creator of all the Universe. He knows every little thing about you and loves you without limit or condition. How great is THAT?! You are a STAR! You are the pinnacle of His creation and he put extra love and care into making you. You have unique qualities and talents that no one else has. You are a masterpiece.
Remember that you have a distinct voice. Your life experiences are unique and just your own, so no one else can give your message to the world. What you have in you, no one else can communicate. The world needs your message in whatever creative form it is heard or seen or felt by others. No one else can give your message.
Remember that the entire Universe listens to you. Every thought you have, every word you speak, every deed you accomplish. The Universe and its Creator LISTEN to you....you have its undivided attention. Can you grasp how important you are? Infinitely!
This time of year can be as painful for many as it is joyful for others. If the holiday season has been one of pain for you in the past, remember how loved and important you are, to God and to the world as a whole. I recently heard this wonderful quote, "Make your mess your message". I love that. My life has been pretty messy sometimes, and maybe yours has too, my darling friend. There has to be a purpose for all that mess, and now it's my message. You have a message in you too...it may be shared in art or music or written word or in a service. Your message may be shared in a million different ways. Someone out there needs your message, and it is important to them that you share it.
You may reach millions with your message, you may reach one. Remember how great and important you are to that one soul....
Love,
Michelle
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Friday, October 21, 2011
Cocoon, Then Fly
I’m a cocooner….I admit it. Whenever anything devastating or stressful happens in my life, my natural instinct is to cocoon. Crawl inside myself, roll up in a fetal position, so to speak, and remove myself from the world. Given that I have a large family, a full time job, and a side career as an author and speaker, sometimes I just don’t get to do what comes natural. But that’s what I always WANT to do if I’m feeling sad or stressed. Can you relate to that?
Cocooning is part of the healing process, at least for me. Maybe for you, too. I want to validate that you may need that time, and it’s okay. The amount of time you need can vary greatly. Sometimes I only need to cocoon for an hour. Sometimes a day. Sometimes longer. Sometimes I’m cocooning while I’m still doing everything that is required of me….and no one knows it but me.
My point about cocooning is that while it is healing and sometimes necessary, it’s not healthy if it goes on for too long. ‘Too long’ is relative, and different for each person and each situation. But the truth is, you will know when it’s been too long. Something inside you, if you will acknowledge it, will nudge you. And you will feel that you need to open up again to life, and start moving again toward your next goal and your next adventure. You may start to feel antsy, or lonely, or guilty….or some other emotion that lets you know its time for a change. You’ll know. Trust yourself and listen to what it is you need.
I can assure you that when you get to that place, it will be equally healing to reach out to others and give some service or comfort to someone else. It will make you feel good about you, and it’s helpful to realize that life goes on and everyone you meet has their own struggles they are dealing with. You can be the answer to someone’s prayer on any give day, just as someone else was the answer to yours.
So cocoon away, my friend, if you need to. And then, unfurl those gorgeous wings of yours, and fly again.
Love,
Michelle
Cocooning is part of the healing process, at least for me. Maybe for you, too. I want to validate that you may need that time, and it’s okay. The amount of time you need can vary greatly. Sometimes I only need to cocoon for an hour. Sometimes a day. Sometimes longer. Sometimes I’m cocooning while I’m still doing everything that is required of me….and no one knows it but me.
My point about cocooning is that while it is healing and sometimes necessary, it’s not healthy if it goes on for too long. ‘Too long’ is relative, and different for each person and each situation. But the truth is, you will know when it’s been too long. Something inside you, if you will acknowledge it, will nudge you. And you will feel that you need to open up again to life, and start moving again toward your next goal and your next adventure. You may start to feel antsy, or lonely, or guilty….or some other emotion that lets you know its time for a change. You’ll know. Trust yourself and listen to what it is you need.
I can assure you that when you get to that place, it will be equally healing to reach out to others and give some service or comfort to someone else. It will make you feel good about you, and it’s helpful to realize that life goes on and everyone you meet has their own struggles they are dealing with. You can be the answer to someone’s prayer on any give day, just as someone else was the answer to yours.
So cocoon away, my friend, if you need to. And then, unfurl those gorgeous wings of yours, and fly again.
Love,
Michelle
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Who is Your Best Friend?
Do you have a best friend? Someone you can tell everything to? Someone who loves you unconditionally and is always on your side? Someone who accepts you for who you are and what is important to you? Someone who always wants the very best for you and knows you deserve it? If you don't have that at this moment, I will tell you how you can have that 'someone' in your life TODAY.
My best girl friend and I have been friends since we were little girls, and I'm so lucky to have her and several other very close friends that have been in my life since I was very young. My husband is also my best friend, and I also consider God my best friend. My kids and my parents and other extended family are also my best friends.
And you know who else? Me.
When I was a teenager, I was told by someone very wise and kind, "Live so that you will be your own best friend, so that wherever you go by yourself, you will never be alone."
If you have never thought of yourself as your own friend, consider the wonderful possibilities of that concept! You will always have someone with you that you enjoy being around. You will always have someone with you that shares your dreams and knows you can make them happen. You can be your own cheerleader and biggest fan. You can love yourself unconditionally and want the very best for yourself and your life. Being your own best friend puts you in a different thought pattern and is very emotionally healthy and beneficial. By treating yourself the way you would treat your best friend you will feel happier and more at peace with you. No matter what has happened in your life, and no matter who has failed to love you the way you wanted, you can still have the love you deserve and need. And when you love yourself, others naturally love you, too. It's very appealing to be around people that have a love and respect for themselves.
Just as you would never tell your best friend that they don't deserve the life they want, or that they are less than absolutely perfect, you shouldn't be saying anything like to yourself either. Talk to yourself the same way you talk to your other friends...with love and respect and appreciation. I love my best friend to the moon and back....and we always say that to each other. Saying that to yourself puts you in a whole different mindset and makes you just....feel better.
If you are fortunate enough to have one or more best friends in your life, I am so happy for you and you already know how blessed you are. If you are lacking that in your life, you can still have it today by making friends with YOU.....and in turn that will attract more friends to you. And you will feel more happiness and peace.
Love, Michelle
My best girl friend and I have been friends since we were little girls, and I'm so lucky to have her and several other very close friends that have been in my life since I was very young. My husband is also my best friend, and I also consider God my best friend. My kids and my parents and other extended family are also my best friends.
And you know who else? Me.
When I was a teenager, I was told by someone very wise and kind, "Live so that you will be your own best friend, so that wherever you go by yourself, you will never be alone."
If you have never thought of yourself as your own friend, consider the wonderful possibilities of that concept! You will always have someone with you that you enjoy being around. You will always have someone with you that shares your dreams and knows you can make them happen. You can be your own cheerleader and biggest fan. You can love yourself unconditionally and want the very best for yourself and your life. Being your own best friend puts you in a different thought pattern and is very emotionally healthy and beneficial. By treating yourself the way you would treat your best friend you will feel happier and more at peace with you. No matter what has happened in your life, and no matter who has failed to love you the way you wanted, you can still have the love you deserve and need. And when you love yourself, others naturally love you, too. It's very appealing to be around people that have a love and respect for themselves.
Just as you would never tell your best friend that they don't deserve the life they want, or that they are less than absolutely perfect, you shouldn't be saying anything like to yourself either. Talk to yourself the same way you talk to your other friends...with love and respect and appreciation. I love my best friend to the moon and back....and we always say that to each other. Saying that to yourself puts you in a whole different mindset and makes you just....feel better.
If you are fortunate enough to have one or more best friends in your life, I am so happy for you and you already know how blessed you are. If you are lacking that in your life, you can still have it today by making friends with YOU.....and in turn that will attract more friends to you. And you will feel more happiness and peace.
Love, Michelle
Thursday, August 25, 2011
The Universe is Listening
The words you speak have power, my friend. More power than you realize. And, the Universe hangs on your every word!
You are a very powerful being, and the words you speak create your world. We have both internal and external dialogues, and what we say to ourselves affects what we say to others.
What kind of things do you say to yourself? Oh boy….I know, I’ve said them, too. Things like, ‘I could never….’, or ‘I don’t deserve that….’, or ‘I wasn’t meant to have….’. With those kinds of beliefs and inner dialogues, how does that come out when we talk with others? ‘I can’t do….’, and ‘I will never have….’, and ‘That’s impossible for me….’ Then we add in our actions based on our beliefs.
Yikes! What are we creating here?
The good news is, we have the power to create something different. Would you like to know how?
Open yourself up, my dear friend, and think about the way you would LIKE your life to be, not necessarily what is it right now. And then speak to yourself and others the way you would if your life was really like that. Did you catch that? Live and dream and BE in that place as if you were already there. How would you behave? What would you say? How would you feel?
Then speak those things out loud. Someone who is happy and peaceful and has all they desire would never say to themselves or anyone else that they aren’t good enough, or that something was impossible for them. They would simply say that they would find a way, there must be a way. And then they would find it. Just as you will.
Human beings are the crown of God’s creations, and you are so beloved of Him. He created you to be successful, happy and abundant. Believe it, because it is absolutely the truth. I do understand that when the storms of life are gathered around you and you are in a dark place, you don’t believe that. But even in those moments, you wish it were true…you may even hope it is true. Trust me just a little and know that you were meant for all things good and all that you desire.
Let’s you and I be aware of things we say to ourselves, and the words we speak out loud. I want to create a glorious future, don’t you? So let’s work on that together, you and I. Today let’s speak of our perfect life and all that we want as if we have it. Let’s put our order in…the Universe is listening.
Love,
Michelle
Friday, July 29, 2011
Want a Happy Marriage?
My kids are growing up. My daughter is getting married in two weeks, and this will be our fifth child to get married. I'm so happy for my girl and her fiance, and I've been thinking about all the things I want to tell them. I have so many things I've learned over time that I want them to know....that I want every young couple to know. So in a tribute to my daughter and her fiance, and to young couples everywhere, here are a few things that can contribute to a happy marriage.
1. Be faithful. You are committing to each other, so be REALLY committed. Let no one come between the two of you....not a coworker, not an old flame, not a friend , not someone new you meet. No one. Be completely true and faithful to your spouse in every way. You both deserve that.
2. Be one in purpose. The two of you make one family unit now, and nothing or no one is more important than your marriage. Set goals for your future that you work on together. Include each other in all decisions and in every part of life.
3. Pray together. Invite God to be a part of your marriage and let Him guide you as you build your life together. No one loves the two of you more than He does, and He truly wants you to make it. Let Him help you.
4. Speak kindly to each other. A soft answer can turn things around when conversations become tense and opinions differ. The relationship is more important than being right or getting your way.
5. Never forget that you are sweethearts first. You may become parents, business partners, or have other roles together, but first and foremost, you are sweethearts. I love to see older couples walking hand in hand in the park, or sitting next to each other in an old truck.....still sweethearts after all those years. I want to grow up to be just like them.
6. Smile at each other. Yes, you see each other every day, and life can become commonplace and mundane. So smile at your sweetheart when you wake up, when they or you get home from work or school, when you are in a crowd of people and you suddenly look at each other, when you are eating dinner together, whenever they don't expect it. It will warm both of your hearts and create a feeling of togetherness and understanding.
7. Do kind little things for each other. The other day I opened up my lunch bag, and found that the night before, my husband had stashed a little bag of white chocolate covered pretzels in there for me to find. He knows I like them, and finding them made me feel so loved. It was a small, sweet gesture that made my whole day. It's all the little things added up together that makes a great marriage and life.
Really, I could ramble on about all this for days, so I'll leave it at this. If both people want the marriage to last and be as good as it can be, you have a winning formula. One cannot make it work alone, but together you can accomplish anything. My love and prayers go with all of you that are embarking on this new adventure.
Love,
Michelle
1. Be faithful. You are committing to each other, so be REALLY committed. Let no one come between the two of you....not a coworker, not an old flame, not a friend , not someone new you meet. No one. Be completely true and faithful to your spouse in every way. You both deserve that.
2. Be one in purpose. The two of you make one family unit now, and nothing or no one is more important than your marriage. Set goals for your future that you work on together. Include each other in all decisions and in every part of life.
3. Pray together. Invite God to be a part of your marriage and let Him guide you as you build your life together. No one loves the two of you more than He does, and He truly wants you to make it. Let Him help you.
4. Speak kindly to each other. A soft answer can turn things around when conversations become tense and opinions differ. The relationship is more important than being right or getting your way.
5. Never forget that you are sweethearts first. You may become parents, business partners, or have other roles together, but first and foremost, you are sweethearts. I love to see older couples walking hand in hand in the park, or sitting next to each other in an old truck.....still sweethearts after all those years. I want to grow up to be just like them.
6. Smile at each other. Yes, you see each other every day, and life can become commonplace and mundane. So smile at your sweetheart when you wake up, when they or you get home from work or school, when you are in a crowd of people and you suddenly look at each other, when you are eating dinner together, whenever they don't expect it. It will warm both of your hearts and create a feeling of togetherness and understanding.
7. Do kind little things for each other. The other day I opened up my lunch bag, and found that the night before, my husband had stashed a little bag of white chocolate covered pretzels in there for me to find. He knows I like them, and finding them made me feel so loved. It was a small, sweet gesture that made my whole day. It's all the little things added up together that makes a great marriage and life.
Really, I could ramble on about all this for days, so I'll leave it at this. If both people want the marriage to last and be as good as it can be, you have a winning formula. One cannot make it work alone, but together you can accomplish anything. My love and prayers go with all of you that are embarking on this new adventure.
Love,
Michelle
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Can Painful Memories Be Erased?
Is it possible to erase painful memories? One of my readers expressed that concern to me this week, and it is a very valid question. It's natural to want anything that hurts to go away, and memories of betrayal or rejection are among the most painful. I don't think my new friend and I are alone in that sentiment.
You know in your heart of hearts that aside from a lobotomy, complete erasure of any memory, painful or not, is not really possible. We can try to block it out, distract ourselves with some other activity, pretend it's not there, but those nagging memories still pop up, don't they? Relentless little boogers.
What IS possible, is to put those memories in their place, and ease the pain they cause us. And to do that, we must let them be a part of our life rather than trying to banish them from existence. What if, instead of trying to get rid of them, we look at them a little differently? Seeing something from a different perspective will accomplish what we are looking for.....less pain. More happy feelings. More PEACE. You KNOW how I love peace.
So how, exactly, do we do that? I don't claim to have all the answers, so I can only tell what has worked for me and others like me.
First, decide that what someone else did to you does not define you. Their opinions and actions are theirs, not yours, not anyone else. Instead of thinking of that person as 'the one' that you lost, realize that they are just one in a group of individuals that you 'tried on' and they weren't the best fit for you. Just someone from your past that didn't appreciate how great you are. Their loss. They were a stepping stone for you to learn what you could, and decide what you definitely want and don't want. When you take away their supreme importance in your life, the pain they can inflict even years after what they did, is lessened considerably.
Next, focus on the good. The good in your life currently, the good things you learned in the past, the blessings you have been given, and the person you have become because of your experiences. It's like when you look at a painting and you focus on one certain thing, the rest looks blurred and not as important. Memories and life experiences are like that too....focus on the good and the other parts will blur and fade.
Then, make some new memories. Big, fun, happy recent memories help to minimize past memories. And being satisfied and happy with your current life is what everyone wants, right? Plan some great things for yourself and enjoy them as they unfold. Soon the memories of painful things in your past will be just that....a distant memory. Who? Oh, yeah...I almost forgot about them ;) Okay, maybe that is an over-statement, but you get the idea.
And last, forgive them. I wrote about forgiveness a couple of months ago in this blog, so you may want to refer to 'Set Yourself Free'. To break the hold those painful memories have on our lives, we need to forgive the ones who hurt us...whether they asked for it or not, and whether they deserve it or not. This is all about you finding peace and happiness, my darling friend....it's not about them. Let God heal you by forgiving all His children. He appreciates and loves your forgiving heart, and He blesses you ten-fold for your effort by healing your broken heart and giving you more than you ever dreamed possible. This last thing makes the biggest difference and does the most for you. It did for me.
You are made up of a million things....genes, memories, experiences, beliefs, gifts, talents, actions....I could go on and on. You are not made up of 'them'. Let 'them' go.....and embrace YOU.
My best to you, my friend.
Love, Michelle
You know in your heart of hearts that aside from a lobotomy, complete erasure of any memory, painful or not, is not really possible. We can try to block it out, distract ourselves with some other activity, pretend it's not there, but those nagging memories still pop up, don't they? Relentless little boogers.
What IS possible, is to put those memories in their place, and ease the pain they cause us. And to do that, we must let them be a part of our life rather than trying to banish them from existence. What if, instead of trying to get rid of them, we look at them a little differently? Seeing something from a different perspective will accomplish what we are looking for.....less pain. More happy feelings. More PEACE. You KNOW how I love peace.
So how, exactly, do we do that? I don't claim to have all the answers, so I can only tell what has worked for me and others like me.
First, decide that what someone else did to you does not define you. Their opinions and actions are theirs, not yours, not anyone else. Instead of thinking of that person as 'the one' that you lost, realize that they are just one in a group of individuals that you 'tried on' and they weren't the best fit for you. Just someone from your past that didn't appreciate how great you are. Their loss. They were a stepping stone for you to learn what you could, and decide what you definitely want and don't want. When you take away their supreme importance in your life, the pain they can inflict even years after what they did, is lessened considerably.
Next, focus on the good. The good in your life currently, the good things you learned in the past, the blessings you have been given, and the person you have become because of your experiences. It's like when you look at a painting and you focus on one certain thing, the rest looks blurred and not as important. Memories and life experiences are like that too....focus on the good and the other parts will blur and fade.
Then, make some new memories. Big, fun, happy recent memories help to minimize past memories. And being satisfied and happy with your current life is what everyone wants, right? Plan some great things for yourself and enjoy them as they unfold. Soon the memories of painful things in your past will be just that....a distant memory. Who? Oh, yeah...I almost forgot about them ;) Okay, maybe that is an over-statement, but you get the idea.
And last, forgive them. I wrote about forgiveness a couple of months ago in this blog, so you may want to refer to 'Set Yourself Free'. To break the hold those painful memories have on our lives, we need to forgive the ones who hurt us...whether they asked for it or not, and whether they deserve it or not. This is all about you finding peace and happiness, my darling friend....it's not about them. Let God heal you by forgiving all His children. He appreciates and loves your forgiving heart, and He blesses you ten-fold for your effort by healing your broken heart and giving you more than you ever dreamed possible. This last thing makes the biggest difference and does the most for you. It did for me.
You are made up of a million things....genes, memories, experiences, beliefs, gifts, talents, actions....I could go on and on. You are not made up of 'them'. Let 'them' go.....and embrace YOU.
My best to you, my friend.
Love, Michelle
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Thoughts Become Things
This week one of the biggest dreams I had for my life came true....earlier than I had imagined it would! I feel so grateful....and at moments I am in wonder at how it all happened.
It can happen for you, too. Let's explore how this all works.
Think of the one thing you want most in life. Think about it every day. See yourself having what you want most. What does your life look like when you have that one thing you want most? Can you see it all in your mind?
That's how it all begins....dreaming, thinking, concentrating, seeing it all in your mind. You will get impressions of things you should do to make it happen as time goes on...and that's when you should ACT! One step at a time, the pieces will come together. It may takes hours, days, weeks, months, or even years...but it WILL happen. I've written here before that what you want wants YOU! And the Universe and God is just as happy to help you get what you want as you are to receive it. Believe that in your heart, because it is absolutely true.
If one course of action doesn't work out, pray for some inspiration, and when it comes, act on that. Sometimes God wants to see how bad we want it....are we willing to keep trying even when the going gets tough? Do we have the faith that He really can help us? That we really do deserve it? Of course He can, and of course you do. If it's important to you, never give up. Never!
One of the most important aspects of moving on and being happy is the ability to see the kind of life you want in your mind. Really see it. Author Mike Dooley says, "Thoughts become things." Uh, yeah slightly. Okay, hugely. Positive or negative, thoughts become things. So why not think some really good things?! Daydream often! Give yourself permission to daydream and think about all the things you want in your life. Think about what would bring you joy and happiness....FEEL how it will feel when you have it. That seeing and feeling is what creates it and gets it moving toward you.
I want you to have everything you've ever dreamed of, my friend. And more importantly, God wants you to have everything you've ever dreamed of. So dream and dream and dream....act on His inspiration. Together the two of you can do anything!
Love,
Michelle
It can happen for you, too. Let's explore how this all works.
Think of the one thing you want most in life. Think about it every day. See yourself having what you want most. What does your life look like when you have that one thing you want most? Can you see it all in your mind?
That's how it all begins....dreaming, thinking, concentrating, seeing it all in your mind. You will get impressions of things you should do to make it happen as time goes on...and that's when you should ACT! One step at a time, the pieces will come together. It may takes hours, days, weeks, months, or even years...but it WILL happen. I've written here before that what you want wants YOU! And the Universe and God is just as happy to help you get what you want as you are to receive it. Believe that in your heart, because it is absolutely true.
If one course of action doesn't work out, pray for some inspiration, and when it comes, act on that. Sometimes God wants to see how bad we want it....are we willing to keep trying even when the going gets tough? Do we have the faith that He really can help us? That we really do deserve it? Of course He can, and of course you do. If it's important to you, never give up. Never!
One of the most important aspects of moving on and being happy is the ability to see the kind of life you want in your mind. Really see it. Author Mike Dooley says, "Thoughts become things." Uh, yeah slightly. Okay, hugely. Positive or negative, thoughts become things. So why not think some really good things?! Daydream often! Give yourself permission to daydream and think about all the things you want in your life. Think about what would bring you joy and happiness....FEEL how it will feel when you have it. That seeing and feeling is what creates it and gets it moving toward you.
I want you to have everything you've ever dreamed of, my friend. And more importantly, God wants you to have everything you've ever dreamed of. So dream and dream and dream....act on His inspiration. Together the two of you can do anything!
Love,
Michelle
Sunday, May 15, 2011
The Blessing of Service
When someone helps you or tries to help you, what is your reaction? Do you feel grateful? Or do you feel embarrassed? Or resentful because now you feel you might need to return the favor? Maybe you can relate to all of these, depending on what kind of day you are having. I once heard a man say that he hated when someone did something nice for him because then he felt like he owed them something. Hmmmm......
Let's look at service and acts of kindness in a new way. Let's look at what the giver gets out of it. Doing kind things for others makes one feel warm and happy. For example, my sister in law dropped of a huge basket of fruit, vegetables and bread for our family early Saturday morning. It was so fun to open the door and see all that beautiful food on our front porch! When I called to thank her, she told me how much fun she had doing that for us. She calls herself the Fruit and Veggie Fairy. Of course we appreciated the very kind gesture, especially since my husband is temporarily out of work. And it delighted me to hear to her excitement doing something so generous for someone else. I realized that she loved doing that for our family, and if I had said anything other than, 'Thank you', it might have deflated her happiness.
If you have a hard time accepting acts of service from others, and you say things like, "Oh you didn't need to do that" or "I wish you hadn't done that".....stop yourself, and simply say, "Thank you so much". We all need each other and we all have times when we can help others, and times when we need the help. Sometimes within the same week! It's all a big circle of Give and Receive. Beautiful, don't you think?
Let others help you, especially when you feel vulnerable or wounded. Realize that it is your day or time to receive and there will be a day or time when you are a giver. And having said that, be sure that you complete the circle by giving back when you can. It will make you feel warm and happy, just as it did for those who gave to you. It also creates balance in your life.
And that brings me to my last point. What you give to someone else does not have to be the same thing you received. We all have gifts, talents and ways of helping that are unique. You can do things others cannot, and the other way around. Give whatever God blesses you with.....a talent for cooking, a kind listening heart, time to help someone who cannot help themselves, a talent for fixing things....whatever you are good at or whatever you can do. Even making a phone call to cheer someone's day is a lovely act of service and kindness.
I really love that we all have each other and that we are all connected to the same great energy. Let's appreciate and realize our blessings and create some blessings for others.
Love, Michelle
Let's look at service and acts of kindness in a new way. Let's look at what the giver gets out of it. Doing kind things for others makes one feel warm and happy. For example, my sister in law dropped of a huge basket of fruit, vegetables and bread for our family early Saturday morning. It was so fun to open the door and see all that beautiful food on our front porch! When I called to thank her, she told me how much fun she had doing that for us. She calls herself the Fruit and Veggie Fairy. Of course we appreciated the very kind gesture, especially since my husband is temporarily out of work. And it delighted me to hear to her excitement doing something so generous for someone else. I realized that she loved doing that for our family, and if I had said anything other than, 'Thank you', it might have deflated her happiness.
If you have a hard time accepting acts of service from others, and you say things like, "Oh you didn't need to do that" or "I wish you hadn't done that".....stop yourself, and simply say, "Thank you so much". We all need each other and we all have times when we can help others, and times when we need the help. Sometimes within the same week! It's all a big circle of Give and Receive. Beautiful, don't you think?
Let others help you, especially when you feel vulnerable or wounded. Realize that it is your day or time to receive and there will be a day or time when you are a giver. And having said that, be sure that you complete the circle by giving back when you can. It will make you feel warm and happy, just as it did for those who gave to you. It also creates balance in your life.
And that brings me to my last point. What you give to someone else does not have to be the same thing you received. We all have gifts, talents and ways of helping that are unique. You can do things others cannot, and the other way around. Give whatever God blesses you with.....a talent for cooking, a kind listening heart, time to help someone who cannot help themselves, a talent for fixing things....whatever you are good at or whatever you can do. Even making a phone call to cheer someone's day is a lovely act of service and kindness.
I really love that we all have each other and that we are all connected to the same great energy. Let's appreciate and realize our blessings and create some blessings for others.
Love, Michelle
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Inner Peace
What a crazy April my family and I have had! We moved, our daughter got engaged, and my husband lost his job. Between feeling exhausted, excited and scared....somehow I can still feel some inner peace. A gift from God to be sure, because life sure didn't hand it over.
We love our new house and our new neighborhood, but I can tell you that cleaning the old house is right up there with having a root canal or having all my fingernails ripped out with pliers. I know, right? Tell us how you really feel, Michelle. I took a week off work so I could clean the old house and put things away in my new house, and truly, I would rather be at work.
My darling daughter and her fiance are getting married in August, so we have so much to do and plan for, and THIS I am excited about. For this hopeless romantic, weddings are so hopeful and sweet, and I really want my kids to find every happiness life has to offer. I'm so happy for my girl.
And then....the loss of my husband's job. Scary to be sure. The future is uncertain, but also full of possibilities! Maybe this is the greatest thing that can happen....he could go back to school and go into a new field, or at least find a better company to work for. I know we'll be okay and I have to trust that God is in His heaven and watching over all of us. Whatever your life is like this month, I hope that you have some inner peace and that your heart is calm and hopeful.
From my heart to yours......
Love, Michelle
We love our new house and our new neighborhood, but I can tell you that cleaning the old house is right up there with having a root canal or having all my fingernails ripped out with pliers. I know, right? Tell us how you really feel, Michelle. I took a week off work so I could clean the old house and put things away in my new house, and truly, I would rather be at work.
My darling daughter and her fiance are getting married in August, so we have so much to do and plan for, and THIS I am excited about. For this hopeless romantic, weddings are so hopeful and sweet, and I really want my kids to find every happiness life has to offer. I'm so happy for my girl.
And then....the loss of my husband's job. Scary to be sure. The future is uncertain, but also full of possibilities! Maybe this is the greatest thing that can happen....he could go back to school and go into a new field, or at least find a better company to work for. I know we'll be okay and I have to trust that God is in His heaven and watching over all of us. Whatever your life is like this month, I hope that you have some inner peace and that your heart is calm and hopeful.
From my heart to yours......
Love, Michelle
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Becoming Who You Were Meant to Be
Ah, Spring Break....my husband and I took the kids on a little trip to the southern part of our state and we enjoyed just being with them so much. While my sweet husband was driving I had some time to read, something I LOVE to do. I finished a lovely novel by Stephanie Grace Whitson, and then I was able read some articles on getting closer to God and being a happier person....a person more like Him. All that I read filled my heart with a feeling of happiness and peace and I want to share that with you, and everyone!
We find clues and help on how to be happier all around us, if we we will open our hearts and minds to all the possibilities. Happiness is found in the smile of a stranger, the warmth of a child's hug, the music and art created by gifted individuals throughout all time, the writings of inspired authors, the beauty of nature, the love of family and friends.....truly we are blessed with so much created just for us to enjoy.
So with all we have been blessed with, finding happiness can still be elusive, can it not? We search and search....somehow missing something that we know we should be able to feel. We all have a journey, so it's okay if you are still searching for the all important happiness you seek. It will come a little at a time, in small moments at first. Then as you learn new things and acquire more peace in your heart, those moments take hold and reside in you permanently. Being aware and appreciative of each small moment increases your happiness.
All the things I have written about in this blog will help....gratitude, forgiveness, doing what you love, being true to your talents and dreams, serving and loving others, being open to new experiences.....all will help build happiness and add to to your overall feeling of well being.
My heart is with you, my friend, as we journey together in becoming who we were meant to be. I know that we are far greater than we thought we were and only God sees all that we can become. If we let Him guide us, we will surely find the happiness that is ours for the taking.
Love, Michelle
We find clues and help on how to be happier all around us, if we we will open our hearts and minds to all the possibilities. Happiness is found in the smile of a stranger, the warmth of a child's hug, the music and art created by gifted individuals throughout all time, the writings of inspired authors, the beauty of nature, the love of family and friends.....truly we are blessed with so much created just for us to enjoy.
So with all we have been blessed with, finding happiness can still be elusive, can it not? We search and search....somehow missing something that we know we should be able to feel. We all have a journey, so it's okay if you are still searching for the all important happiness you seek. It will come a little at a time, in small moments at first. Then as you learn new things and acquire more peace in your heart, those moments take hold and reside in you permanently. Being aware and appreciative of each small moment increases your happiness.
All the things I have written about in this blog will help....gratitude, forgiveness, doing what you love, being true to your talents and dreams, serving and loving others, being open to new experiences.....all will help build happiness and add to to your overall feeling of well being.
My heart is with you, my friend, as we journey together in becoming who we were meant to be. I know that we are far greater than we thought we were and only God sees all that we can become. If we let Him guide us, we will surely find the happiness that is ours for the taking.
Love, Michelle
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Set Yourself Free
Ever notice how the people who have hurt us don't seem to be too bothered by that? They might be completely aware they hurt us and just don't care, or they may not know and are blissfully oblivious to the pain their words or actions have caused.
Because I want every person in the world to have peace and happiness in their heart, I'm tackling the touchy subject of Forgiveness.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to forgive someone who has hurt you. I have even felt like a couple of people in my life have purposely set out to destroy me. And yet somehow I had to learn to forgive so I could be free of that hold they had on me, and free of the pain and unrest in my heart. Earlier in my life it took me years, but it didn't have to. Later on I learned how to forgive in a shorter amount of time, thus freeing myself from more hurt.
The concept is not new....the Bible talks about forgiveness to give us direction and help, since God knew that we would hurt each other all over the place. He loves us, and wants to help us figure out how to be happy and have peace despite what others do. So how do we do that?
We let go, and forgive.
Easier said than done, I realize. But truly, a happy heart is a forgiving heart. Love is slow to anger and easily forgives. God is love and you were made in His image. I know that since you are reading my blog, you are a loving good person who is striving to be more at peace and find more happiness. I'm not saying you need to feel love for someone that has hurt you, although if you can you are further ahead than many of us. What I'm saying is that having a forgiving heart frees you from the hold of hurt and pain. You can move on past it all!
We all know people who have a very difficult time getting past their past. Every injustice is felt over and over. I've been there myself and maybe you have too. They are stuck....just like I was. Couldn't move forward, couldn't be happy.
Honor yourself and your divine heritage by freeing yourself from all that. Forgive....and truly live the life you were meant to....free!
Love, Michelle
Because I want every person in the world to have peace and happiness in their heart, I'm tackling the touchy subject of Forgiveness.
Believe me, I know how hard it is to forgive someone who has hurt you. I have even felt like a couple of people in my life have purposely set out to destroy me. And yet somehow I had to learn to forgive so I could be free of that hold they had on me, and free of the pain and unrest in my heart. Earlier in my life it took me years, but it didn't have to. Later on I learned how to forgive in a shorter amount of time, thus freeing myself from more hurt.
The concept is not new....the Bible talks about forgiveness to give us direction and help, since God knew that we would hurt each other all over the place. He loves us, and wants to help us figure out how to be happy and have peace despite what others do. So how do we do that?
We let go, and forgive.
Easier said than done, I realize. But truly, a happy heart is a forgiving heart. Love is slow to anger and easily forgives. God is love and you were made in His image. I know that since you are reading my blog, you are a loving good person who is striving to be more at peace and find more happiness. I'm not saying you need to feel love for someone that has hurt you, although if you can you are further ahead than many of us. What I'm saying is that having a forgiving heart frees you from the hold of hurt and pain. You can move on past it all!
We all know people who have a very difficult time getting past their past. Every injustice is felt over and over. I've been there myself and maybe you have too. They are stuck....just like I was. Couldn't move forward, couldn't be happy.
Honor yourself and your divine heritage by freeing yourself from all that. Forgive....and truly live the life you were meant to....free!
Love, Michelle
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Don't Like It? Change It!
I'm sure you can think of a few things you would like to be different in your life. Most people can. There is one school of thought that we should accept what is and not try to change it. Now, while there may be some wisdom in that for some situations, you have probably guessed by now that my general attitude for life is, 'Hey, if you don't like it, change it!" Before you argue with me that you can't, let me explain.....
There are many ways to 'change it'. The most obvious is to simply walk away so that things have changed for you. You are no longer in the situation. In some situations, that may be the best option, but there are certainly others. Another would be to communicate the changes you would like to see happen to someone that has the power and ability to work with you on the changes. If you can reach a solution, even if the changes are small, the dynamics of the situation are altered and sometimes the ripples of those small alterations have a big impact.
Another way to 'change it' is to gather all involved for a counsel. Ideas will spring from everyone and can be voted on for a group plan or set of common goals or rules. This works well for families, as well as businesses or teams.
As a parent, you can also change things up to include some rewards and consequences for your children if you don't like the way things are going in your home. We recently did this with our two youngest since we needed some change in their attitude toward household chores. ;) My husband and I didn't get their vote, just told them if they do A, the reward will be B. If they don't do A, the consequence will be C.
I'm sure you can think of other solutions to changing something, and here's the deal...the answer for what to do to change 'IT' is already inside you. Pray, listen and then act. There is always a way, even if you can't see it right now. If what you want to change is important enough to you, you WILL find a way to 'change it'. And you are the only one who can implement it. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you....that may never happen. Decide right now that you are never stuck. You can be the captain of your own ship....who else would you rather have steering? It's all you, my friend. That doesn't mean you are left alone. God always provides help and inspiration....from Him and from others around you.
What do you want to change today?
My best to you, my friend....
Love, Michelle
There are many ways to 'change it'. The most obvious is to simply walk away so that things have changed for you. You are no longer in the situation. In some situations, that may be the best option, but there are certainly others. Another would be to communicate the changes you would like to see happen to someone that has the power and ability to work with you on the changes. If you can reach a solution, even if the changes are small, the dynamics of the situation are altered and sometimes the ripples of those small alterations have a big impact.
Another way to 'change it' is to gather all involved for a counsel. Ideas will spring from everyone and can be voted on for a group plan or set of common goals or rules. This works well for families, as well as businesses or teams.
As a parent, you can also change things up to include some rewards and consequences for your children if you don't like the way things are going in your home. We recently did this with our two youngest since we needed some change in their attitude toward household chores. ;) My husband and I didn't get their vote, just told them if they do A, the reward will be B. If they don't do A, the consequence will be C.
I'm sure you can think of other solutions to changing something, and here's the deal...the answer for what to do to change 'IT' is already inside you. Pray, listen and then act. There is always a way, even if you can't see it right now. If what you want to change is important enough to you, you WILL find a way to 'change it'. And you are the only one who can implement it. Don't wait for someone else to do it for you....that may never happen. Decide right now that you are never stuck. You can be the captain of your own ship....who else would you rather have steering? It's all you, my friend. That doesn't mean you are left alone. God always provides help and inspiration....from Him and from others around you.
What do you want to change today?
My best to you, my friend....
Love, Michelle
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Gratitude Makes It Happen
Back in December when I started blogging, I wrote about being grateful and how it equals being happy. Today I'm going to expound on that because I can't stop thinking about how important gratitude really is, and how it makes things happen in our lives. Really great things.
Besides making you feel happier when you think about all the things you are grateful for, there is even more magic to be discovered in Gratitude. Gratitude actually brings the things you desire most to you. Did you catch that? Delivers it in your lap.
Let's say there is something you want with all your heart. Picture it in your mind....get really clear about how it looks and feels. Picture yourself having that which you most desire. Now....feel how great it will be when you have actually attained it. Now the kicker: Be grateful that you have it. Feel that deep, warm feeling of gratitude that it is already yours, and trust that it is on it's way to you. Doesn't that feel great?! No worries...you got this!
Not only will this up your happiness level, but it will put you in a different frame of mind. Suddenly you are brimming with gratitude at all you have rather than feeling a lack of what you don't. And that, my friend, changes your life! You are now un-blocked from having the desires of your heart. You have opened the flood gates with your grateful heart.
I've asked you this before....What do you want?
I want a lot of things and circumstances, and I'll tell you one. There is a beautiful villa that sits atop a Tuscan hill with my name on it, and I am beyond grateful that it's mine! Wahoo! I am going to purchase it....don't know how, but I know I will. And I knew it the moment I saw the picture for the first time, which I now look at every single day.
Try it with something small and increase your confidence in your ability to create and have and be whatever you want by being grateful that it's on it's way to you. And then try it with something bigger. There is no cap or ceiling on what you can create for yourself by being grateful for all that you NOW have and all that you WILL have.
The Universe is so excited to give it all to you, and you can feel grateful that you are so loved, so adored and so blessed.
Love, Michelle
Besides making you feel happier when you think about all the things you are grateful for, there is even more magic to be discovered in Gratitude. Gratitude actually brings the things you desire most to you. Did you catch that? Delivers it in your lap.
Let's say there is something you want with all your heart. Picture it in your mind....get really clear about how it looks and feels. Picture yourself having that which you most desire. Now....feel how great it will be when you have actually attained it. Now the kicker: Be grateful that you have it. Feel that deep, warm feeling of gratitude that it is already yours, and trust that it is on it's way to you. Doesn't that feel great?! No worries...you got this!
Not only will this up your happiness level, but it will put you in a different frame of mind. Suddenly you are brimming with gratitude at all you have rather than feeling a lack of what you don't. And that, my friend, changes your life! You are now un-blocked from having the desires of your heart. You have opened the flood gates with your grateful heart.
I've asked you this before....What do you want?
I want a lot of things and circumstances, and I'll tell you one. There is a beautiful villa that sits atop a Tuscan hill with my name on it, and I am beyond grateful that it's mine! Wahoo! I am going to purchase it....don't know how, but I know I will. And I knew it the moment I saw the picture for the first time, which I now look at every single day.
Try it with something small and increase your confidence in your ability to create and have and be whatever you want by being grateful that it's on it's way to you. And then try it with something bigger. There is no cap or ceiling on what you can create for yourself by being grateful for all that you NOW have and all that you WILL have.
The Universe is so excited to give it all to you, and you can feel grateful that you are so loved, so adored and so blessed.
Love, Michelle
Friday, March 4, 2011
A New 'Something' for Spring
I don't exactly love winter. Snow and cold feel claustrophobic to me. A couple of days ago I saw tulips just starting to peek out of the soil in a big planter outside my office building and it gave me a surge of hope that spring is almost here. The beginning of spring feels like walking into a room filled with light and happiness after being in a dark cold tunnel...similar to being depressed and then finally feeling happy. What a wonderful feeling!
Then I was thinking that the beginning of spring is also like discovering something new in life or about yourself. Like discovering a new passion or hobby....or finding a new friend or companion...and suddenly life just feels so full of possibilities and wonder. Happiness!
So lets do something together, you and I, this spring. Let's find something new to be excited about, to look forward to each new day. It can be something small or something much bigger, but let's find it! It will be like a exploration of life...it's a new year and a new season and I need something new to get excited about. Do you? I need something to make me smile and be excited to wake up every day. A secret inside me that let's me know that life is getting better every day. I want that for you, too, my friend. As my mom always says, "Everyone needs something to look forward to". She's so right.
I've decided to take a class that I've been wanting to take for a long time. I just started it...it's online and I can do it at my own speed. As soon as I signed up for it, I felt a sense of happiness and accomplishment. And I feel excited and happy to be learning something that has interested me for several years. It's opening up new doors for me and that makes me smile!
I've told you mine, now what is yours? I'd love to hear from you...leave a comment and tell me the one new thing you are going to do to make your life more enjoyable and create some happiness for yourself. If you don't want to leave a public comment, email me at moveonbehappy@yahoo.com. It's our year....things are changing and I love sharing that with you.
Love, Michelle
Then I was thinking that the beginning of spring is also like discovering something new in life or about yourself. Like discovering a new passion or hobby....or finding a new friend or companion...and suddenly life just feels so full of possibilities and wonder. Happiness!
So lets do something together, you and I, this spring. Let's find something new to be excited about, to look forward to each new day. It can be something small or something much bigger, but let's find it! It will be like a exploration of life...it's a new year and a new season and I need something new to get excited about. Do you? I need something to make me smile and be excited to wake up every day. A secret inside me that let's me know that life is getting better every day. I want that for you, too, my friend. As my mom always says, "Everyone needs something to look forward to". She's so right.
I've decided to take a class that I've been wanting to take for a long time. I just started it...it's online and I can do it at my own speed. As soon as I signed up for it, I felt a sense of happiness and accomplishment. And I feel excited and happy to be learning something that has interested me for several years. It's opening up new doors for me and that makes me smile!
I've told you mine, now what is yours? I'd love to hear from you...leave a comment and tell me the one new thing you are going to do to make your life more enjoyable and create some happiness for yourself. If you don't want to leave a public comment, email me at moveonbehappy@yahoo.com. It's our year....things are changing and I love sharing that with you.
Love, Michelle
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Best Use of Your Energy
We are pulled in so many directions, are we not? Everything and everyone needs something from us that takes some of our energy. In addition, we have issues that arise at work, with family members, and the many injustices we witness. So with all of that going on in our lives and all around us, where do we put our energy?
It really boils down to setting our priorities. What is most important to you? What is the best use of your energy?
If you are feeling pulled in too many directions and overwhelmed with too much going on in your life, deciding what is the very most important aspect of your life, and then the next, and so on will help you choose what to focus on and what to let go.
For example, my husband recently had an injustice done to him at work. Many of them, actually. He has several options open to him. He can choose to fight for his rights at work and get others involved to help him or he can find a different job, or a completely different field. He could even choose to ignore it and keep his concerns to himself. Which option is best for him? This situation has given him an opportunity to decide if he wants to continue in his current field or do something that he has always wanted to do. At first he wanted to fight and try to make things more fair, but after some reflection he decided that the best use of his energy would be to follow his passion into a new field, and not try to carve a better environment for himself at his current job.
Each situation is different, of course, and only you can decide where you should spend your precious energy. If we direct our energy into those areas and relationships in our lives that mean the very most to us and will have the best and most positive impact, we will find that we don't feel the stress that we would if we were always trying to right every single wrong that pops up in our lives. If it's worth the energy, then by all means, give it your all. If your energy could be directed for a higher cause for yourself, then put it toward your higher cause.
It feels incredible to free yourself and let go of something that is sucking all your energy and causing you a great deal of stress. Ask yourself, 'is spending my energy on this the best thing for me?'
There may a relationship that is sucking the life out of you and takes a great deal of your energy. Is it worth putting your energy into that relationship? Are you getting what is best for you from that relationship? Perhaps less time with that person would be best for you....only you can decide.
Moving away from situations and people who are not for your best good is very empowering and puts you in control of your own life. It takes courage and being very honest with yourself. And the payoff is a more focused, clear heart and mind. So worth it, my friend. Life is too short to waste your energy on things that don't really matter or that take you away from achieving your life's purposes.
Be brave and get clear, my friend, and put your energy in the very best places for you. Then enjoy the peace of mind that comes with that clarity and sense of purpose.
Love, Michelle
It really boils down to setting our priorities. What is most important to you? What is the best use of your energy?
If you are feeling pulled in too many directions and overwhelmed with too much going on in your life, deciding what is the very most important aspect of your life, and then the next, and so on will help you choose what to focus on and what to let go.
For example, my husband recently had an injustice done to him at work. Many of them, actually. He has several options open to him. He can choose to fight for his rights at work and get others involved to help him or he can find a different job, or a completely different field. He could even choose to ignore it and keep his concerns to himself. Which option is best for him? This situation has given him an opportunity to decide if he wants to continue in his current field or do something that he has always wanted to do. At first he wanted to fight and try to make things more fair, but after some reflection he decided that the best use of his energy would be to follow his passion into a new field, and not try to carve a better environment for himself at his current job.
Each situation is different, of course, and only you can decide where you should spend your precious energy. If we direct our energy into those areas and relationships in our lives that mean the very most to us and will have the best and most positive impact, we will find that we don't feel the stress that we would if we were always trying to right every single wrong that pops up in our lives. If it's worth the energy, then by all means, give it your all. If your energy could be directed for a higher cause for yourself, then put it toward your higher cause.
It feels incredible to free yourself and let go of something that is sucking all your energy and causing you a great deal of stress. Ask yourself, 'is spending my energy on this the best thing for me?'
There may a relationship that is sucking the life out of you and takes a great deal of your energy. Is it worth putting your energy into that relationship? Are you getting what is best for you from that relationship? Perhaps less time with that person would be best for you....only you can decide.
Moving away from situations and people who are not for your best good is very empowering and puts you in control of your own life. It takes courage and being very honest with yourself. And the payoff is a more focused, clear heart and mind. So worth it, my friend. Life is too short to waste your energy on things that don't really matter or that take you away from achieving your life's purposes.
Be brave and get clear, my friend, and put your energy in the very best places for you. Then enjoy the peace of mind that comes with that clarity and sense of purpose.
Love, Michelle
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Trusting Someone New After Betrayal
When someone hurts us deeply, the natural human behavior is to build a wall around ourselves so that no one can ever hurt us again. I would daresay that you have done this at least one time in your life. I have done it more than once. Evidently I'm a slow learner.
There are many things I could say about this, but I'm going to cut right to the core. When you want something, you will never get it if you don't risk. You can choose to protect yourself forever, but then you will never have what you want. Cocooning yourself may be necessary for a time so you can heal, but eventually, when your desire to have a loving committed relationship is present, risking your heart again is necessary to have it.
You'll notice that I'm not talking about rebuilding trust in a relationship where trust has already been broken. I have not found success in that area. It has been my experience that I have to be away from the person who hurt me to completely heal. I do know that it is possible to rebuild trust within a relationship, because I know people who have done it and have a successful marriage. I'm not one of those people and I can only write what I know.
I do know this: To treat a new person in our life as if they will betray us like the last one did does not get us what we want, and it is very unfair to the new person. It keeps us in a continual loop of loneliness and pain. In order to heal we must get outside that loop.
So how do we do that?
After you have taken the time needed to heal from the betrayal of someone you have loved and trusted, when you feel stronger and ready to move on, then the decision to trust is simply that; a decision. You can decide to be brave and trust someone new, a level at a time, when you find someone who has the qualities in a partner that you want. The other part of that is to be someone THEY can trust. We attract what we focus on. Focusing on trust and companionship, knowing that we deserve it and can have it, will bring it to us.
Are you attracted to happy, successful people? I know I am....I love being around those people who exude happiness and confidence. And you know what they all say? They automatically trust others to have the best intentions towards them. And they don't worry about being betrayed. They EXPECT loyalty and all things good from those around them. And if someone decides not to give that to them, they don't spend time with that person and they move on. They know that they deserve the best, they expect it, and they don't associate with people who go through life hurting others. They simply move away from them and gravitate to those who are like themselves....loving, trusting, confident and happy. If you are saying to yourselves that they must be lucky, let me assure you that all the truly happy, successful people I know or have studied with, have all been deeply hurt by the betrayal of someone they loved and trusted. They have learned, as I have, that trusting others is a conscience decision. They have moved above and away from the pain from their past to build a happy life and successful relationships with others. That decision and attitude gives them power over their own destiny, just as it will give you power over yours.
I go over more of this process of healing and trusting in my new book, 'Move On Be Happy-Getting Past Betrayal', so watch for it later this year. Know in your heart that happiness is possible, and that the power to create it is inside you. You are a powerful being, and everything you want WANTS YOU, my friend.
Love, Michelle
There are many things I could say about this, but I'm going to cut right to the core. When you want something, you will never get it if you don't risk. You can choose to protect yourself forever, but then you will never have what you want. Cocooning yourself may be necessary for a time so you can heal, but eventually, when your desire to have a loving committed relationship is present, risking your heart again is necessary to have it.
You'll notice that I'm not talking about rebuilding trust in a relationship where trust has already been broken. I have not found success in that area. It has been my experience that I have to be away from the person who hurt me to completely heal. I do know that it is possible to rebuild trust within a relationship, because I know people who have done it and have a successful marriage. I'm not one of those people and I can only write what I know.
I do know this: To treat a new person in our life as if they will betray us like the last one did does not get us what we want, and it is very unfair to the new person. It keeps us in a continual loop of loneliness and pain. In order to heal we must get outside that loop.
So how do we do that?
After you have taken the time needed to heal from the betrayal of someone you have loved and trusted, when you feel stronger and ready to move on, then the decision to trust is simply that; a decision. You can decide to be brave and trust someone new, a level at a time, when you find someone who has the qualities in a partner that you want. The other part of that is to be someone THEY can trust. We attract what we focus on. Focusing on trust and companionship, knowing that we deserve it and can have it, will bring it to us.
Are you attracted to happy, successful people? I know I am....I love being around those people who exude happiness and confidence. And you know what they all say? They automatically trust others to have the best intentions towards them. And they don't worry about being betrayed. They EXPECT loyalty and all things good from those around them. And if someone decides not to give that to them, they don't spend time with that person and they move on. They know that they deserve the best, they expect it, and they don't associate with people who go through life hurting others. They simply move away from them and gravitate to those who are like themselves....loving, trusting, confident and happy. If you are saying to yourselves that they must be lucky, let me assure you that all the truly happy, successful people I know or have studied with, have all been deeply hurt by the betrayal of someone they loved and trusted. They have learned, as I have, that trusting others is a conscience decision. They have moved above and away from the pain from their past to build a happy life and successful relationships with others. That decision and attitude gives them power over their own destiny, just as it will give you power over yours.
I go over more of this process of healing and trusting in my new book, 'Move On Be Happy-Getting Past Betrayal', so watch for it later this year. Know in your heart that happiness is possible, and that the power to create it is inside you. You are a powerful being, and everything you want WANTS YOU, my friend.
Love, Michelle
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Best Decision I Ever Made
Let me throw some words out at you. Faith. Hope. Trust. What comes to your mind? What emotions do you feel when you read or say those words?
Maybe those words cause you to feel irritation and pain....maybe they make you feel peaceful and calm. Or perhaps invigorated and energetic. That depends on where you are in your journey on this earth. What you lived through and what you are learning right now.
I'm going to share a secret with you....something very personal. It is the single most important decision I ever made in my life.
When I was at my very lowest, after I experienced the betrayal of my former husband's infidelity when my children were very young, I was in so much pain I didn't know how I could keep going. The pain in my heart manifested in an actual physical pain in my chest and stomach that never went away.
It had been eight months since I learned of his infidelity and I had suffered a complete breakdown, and yet it felt like it had happened yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night and wrapped myself in a big cotton quilt and curled up on my couch and looked out into the night sky, wondering if God was there. At that time in my life I was angry with God and thought he didn't care about me. My attitude was, 'hey just leave me alone and I'll leave you alone'. I had felt that way for about four years.
That night I felt so hopeless and broken and I knew something had to change. What had I not tried to help me heal? I felt very, very alone and small.
I desperately needed someone to be bigger than me to fix all of this. I was so tired of fighting life and having everything fall on my shoulders. I needed someone to help me carry the tremendous load I was carrying. So I did the only thing left to try.....
I prayed. I started timid and quiet, and then more open and pleading. I told God that I obviously didn't have any answers and I desperately needed help. I was so broken that I was willing to let Him lead me. I would do whatever He prompted me to do. I needed help raising and comforting my children, and I needed help healing from my broken heart. I told Him everything....and turned my life over to Him so I could survive.
And that's when the miracle took place. I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion of praying and sobbing, and when I awoke a few hours later, the pain that I felt in my chest was greatly diminished! It was noticeably reduced right from the moment I woke up and could hear my babies. What a great relief! I silently prayed again, so grateful.
So that's my big secret. Simple. Profound. Real. What I've learned is that God loves each of us and He is very aware of every single thought and experience we have. He adores us and wants to communicate with us. All we have to do is allow Him to do that.
There are many things that helped me heal from that very painful experience, and all of those things are in the book I'm writing. Complete healing took time, of course. And of all the things that worked, trusting God and letting Him direct me helped the very most. It was the best thing I ever did...for myself and for my family.
If you've tried everything else, try giving complete surrender and trust to the One who loves you most.....you might find that you wish, like I did, that you had tried that first.
Love, Michelle
Maybe those words cause you to feel irritation and pain....maybe they make you feel peaceful and calm. Or perhaps invigorated and energetic. That depends on where you are in your journey on this earth. What you lived through and what you are learning right now.
I'm going to share a secret with you....something very personal. It is the single most important decision I ever made in my life.
When I was at my very lowest, after I experienced the betrayal of my former husband's infidelity when my children were very young, I was in so much pain I didn't know how I could keep going. The pain in my heart manifested in an actual physical pain in my chest and stomach that never went away.
It had been eight months since I learned of his infidelity and I had suffered a complete breakdown, and yet it felt like it had happened yesterday. I woke up in the middle of the night and wrapped myself in a big cotton quilt and curled up on my couch and looked out into the night sky, wondering if God was there. At that time in my life I was angry with God and thought he didn't care about me. My attitude was, 'hey just leave me alone and I'll leave you alone'. I had felt that way for about four years.
That night I felt so hopeless and broken and I knew something had to change. What had I not tried to help me heal? I felt very, very alone and small.
I desperately needed someone to be bigger than me to fix all of this. I was so tired of fighting life and having everything fall on my shoulders. I needed someone to help me carry the tremendous load I was carrying. So I did the only thing left to try.....
I prayed. I started timid and quiet, and then more open and pleading. I told God that I obviously didn't have any answers and I desperately needed help. I was so broken that I was willing to let Him lead me. I would do whatever He prompted me to do. I needed help raising and comforting my children, and I needed help healing from my broken heart. I told Him everything....and turned my life over to Him so I could survive.
And that's when the miracle took place. I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion of praying and sobbing, and when I awoke a few hours later, the pain that I felt in my chest was greatly diminished! It was noticeably reduced right from the moment I woke up and could hear my babies. What a great relief! I silently prayed again, so grateful.
So that's my big secret. Simple. Profound. Real. What I've learned is that God loves each of us and He is very aware of every single thought and experience we have. He adores us and wants to communicate with us. All we have to do is allow Him to do that.
There are many things that helped me heal from that very painful experience, and all of those things are in the book I'm writing. Complete healing took time, of course. And of all the things that worked, trusting God and letting Him direct me helped the very most. It was the best thing I ever did...for myself and for my family.
If you've tried everything else, try giving complete surrender and trust to the One who loves you most.....you might find that you wish, like I did, that you had tried that first.
Love, Michelle
Friday, February 11, 2011
You Want What You Want
The things you want in life, the dreams you have.....they don't die, do they? If someone tries to discourage you and tell you that what you want can't happen, you still want it. You can see yourself having and doing and being what you want, and even if you can't see a way to get it, you still want it.
You want what you want.
I love stories about people that face incredible odds, and yet they still achieve their dreams. They don't give up, they keep trying and they don't let negativity stop them. Slow them down for a minute...sure, that's human nature. But they get up again and they keep trying. Love it!
The most successful, happy people are those that know what they want and they never stop trying to get it. They want what they want, and it's too important to them to give up.
I have things in life that I want....very much. You do, too. And even when I've been so down that I didn't think I'd ever have any of it, I still wanted it. Can you relate to that?
Treat your dreams and the things you want with respect and reverence. We all have our own set of unique talents and interests. They are gifts from God, and tell you so much about your purpose in life. Believe that you were given those things to help you achieve all the greatness inside you, and the Universe wants to help you get there.
Love, Michelle
You want what you want.
I love stories about people that face incredible odds, and yet they still achieve their dreams. They don't give up, they keep trying and they don't let negativity stop them. Slow them down for a minute...sure, that's human nature. But they get up again and they keep trying. Love it!
The most successful, happy people are those that know what they want and they never stop trying to get it. They want what they want, and it's too important to them to give up.
I have things in life that I want....very much. You do, too. And even when I've been so down that I didn't think I'd ever have any of it, I still wanted it. Can you relate to that?
Treat your dreams and the things you want with respect and reverence. We all have our own set of unique talents and interests. They are gifts from God, and tell you so much about your purpose in life. Believe that you were given those things to help you achieve all the greatness inside you, and the Universe wants to help you get there.
Love, Michelle
Sunday, February 6, 2011
A Little Kindness Goes a Long Way
One of the things I've learned over my adult life is try and be kind to everyone, no matter the situation. And I'm sure I have failed at that sometimes. And when you run into someone from the past, maybe even your childhood, that you were not kind to, guilt can consume you. So maybe you and I can try together to always be courteous and kind to everyone we meet. Less guilt and more good feelings are always a good thing.
There are days when it's hard to be kind to others...especially if you're having a bad day of your own. But showing a little kindness will go along way to at least not transferring your bad day on to someone else. And don't we always appreciate when someone is kind and warm to us, even if we have done nothing to get it from them? They just offered it? Fabulous. God Bless all the nice folks out there!
I recently came across a boy from my childhood neighborhood on Facebook. I had not seen anything about him since we were kids. And I was immediately struck with delight at finding him there, and then a wash of guilt. He had been picked on by the neighborhood, and I have no idea why. And I while I don't remember if I was ever rude or mean right to his face, I'm certain that I did not stand up and defend him or tell anyone to leave him alone. Because I was picked on myself sometimes, I desperately wanted to be accepted and not excluded, so I joined them or at least didn't separate myself from the masses at the time. And now I feel guilt. Bless his forgiving heart, he accepted my 'friendship' on Facebook, even though I don't deserve it. And I'm so glad to see how successful and happy he is. He's a smart guy and turned lemons into lemonade.
So I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I always feel so bad if I let outside influences decide what my behavior is, and I'm all about doing whatever is going to bring the most happiness into my life and to YOUR life. Everyone we meet has their own pain and their own struggles, just like us. Everyone we meet is connected to the same energy we are, and whatever we put out there will come right back to us. So let's strive to always put out love, compassion and kindness and keep the flow of energy pure and happy swirling around us. It's a 'win' for everyone, and goes a long way in creating a positive feelings in yourself and others. Now THAT'S power.
Love, Michelle
There are days when it's hard to be kind to others...especially if you're having a bad day of your own. But showing a little kindness will go along way to at least not transferring your bad day on to someone else. And don't we always appreciate when someone is kind and warm to us, even if we have done nothing to get it from them? They just offered it? Fabulous. God Bless all the nice folks out there!
I recently came across a boy from my childhood neighborhood on Facebook. I had not seen anything about him since we were kids. And I was immediately struck with delight at finding him there, and then a wash of guilt. He had been picked on by the neighborhood, and I have no idea why. And I while I don't remember if I was ever rude or mean right to his face, I'm certain that I did not stand up and defend him or tell anyone to leave him alone. Because I was picked on myself sometimes, I desperately wanted to be accepted and not excluded, so I joined them or at least didn't separate myself from the masses at the time. And now I feel guilt. Bless his forgiving heart, he accepted my 'friendship' on Facebook, even though I don't deserve it. And I'm so glad to see how successful and happy he is. He's a smart guy and turned lemons into lemonade.
So I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I always feel so bad if I let outside influences decide what my behavior is, and I'm all about doing whatever is going to bring the most happiness into my life and to YOUR life. Everyone we meet has their own pain and their own struggles, just like us. Everyone we meet is connected to the same energy we are, and whatever we put out there will come right back to us. So let's strive to always put out love, compassion and kindness and keep the flow of energy pure and happy swirling around us. It's a 'win' for everyone, and goes a long way in creating a positive feelings in yourself and others. Now THAT'S power.
Love, Michelle
Friday, February 4, 2011
My 'Thank You' to you
I really appreciate you for joining me and reading the things I write....they come from my heart and I feel like you and I have a connection. So to say 'Thank You', and I am opening up a contest of my own for you to win a year of free life coaching with me. If you are the winner, each week you will get a one hour life coaching session with me for an entire year! We'll talk about the things you want to accomplish in your life and we'll identify the blocks you might have that are stopping you from getting what you truly want in life, and we'll clear them out together. You'll tell me about the life you want to live, and the dreams you have for yourself, and then together we'll take the steps to get you there! My normal fee for a one hour session is $45, so the prize is worth $2840.
To enter in the contest to win a year of free life coaching with me, just click on the link on the top right of this page to watch the 1 minute video of me talking about my new book, 'Move On, Be Happy' in The Next Top Self Help Author contest. Then if you like what I have to say, vote for me. That's it! Send me an email at moveonbehappy@yahoo.com and let me know you voted and I will put your name in the drawing for a year of free life coaching with me. I don't go in to check and make sure you did....I just take you at your word and we are ready to go. The contest goes on the entire month of February, and the winner will be announced the first week of March.
Thank you for your support of my blog and of my new book. I will post my 'normal' blog content this weekend with more helpful tips on how to Move On, Be Happy!
Love,
Michelle
To enter in the contest to win a year of free life coaching with me, just click on the link on the top right of this page to watch the 1 minute video of me talking about my new book, 'Move On, Be Happy' in The Next Top Self Help Author contest. Then if you like what I have to say, vote for me. That's it! Send me an email at moveonbehappy@yahoo.com and let me know you voted and I will put your name in the drawing for a year of free life coaching with me. I don't go in to check and make sure you did....I just take you at your word and we are ready to go. The contest goes on the entire month of February, and the winner will be announced the first week of March.
Thank you for your support of my blog and of my new book. I will post my 'normal' blog content this weekend with more helpful tips on how to Move On, Be Happy!
Love,
Michelle
Saturday, January 29, 2011
We all have a 'Message'
I've stepped into an unfamiliar, scary arena. I registered as a contestant in 'The Next Top Self Help Author" contest which begins Februrary 1st. It's a four month, four part contest with the first entry being a video pitch of the author's book. Last fall I published a little ebook on how to file your own divorce, and my new book, which is partially written, is about how to recover from infidelity, and is called, 'Move On, Be Happy". With our entrance fee comes this wonderful 6 month training course from all the experts in the book world...publishers, authors, agents, internet marketers...so it's an incredible opportunity for new authors to learn how to get their message out there.
The training course has already begun and much emphasis is place on what our 'message' is....what is it that we want to tell the world. And then I realized that each person on this planet has a message. Each one is unique based on what our experiences are in life.
So let me ask you, "What is your message? What do you want to share with the world that no one else can give?"
I love the saying, "No one else can sing your song". It says to me that each of us is so important and has something unique to share with the world. If you don't share you message, it will not be shared, because no one else can do it. Can you feel how powerful that really is?
I used to feel so small and feel that my purpose in life was so small....and I was wrong. So I'm going to share my message of hope and healing based on the things I've lived through and learned. A message that is unique to me, and I'm going to do it because of my deep love and compassion for my fellow men and women, and for you specifically, my friend.
I hope you will do the same, in whatever form your message takes. Only you know what that is and what you were put on this planet to do. I hope you will share that wonderful message with the rest of us....the World awaits you!
My best to you-
Michelle
The training course has already begun and much emphasis is place on what our 'message' is....what is it that we want to tell the world. And then I realized that each person on this planet has a message. Each one is unique based on what our experiences are in life.
So let me ask you, "What is your message? What do you want to share with the world that no one else can give?"
I love the saying, "No one else can sing your song". It says to me that each of us is so important and has something unique to share with the world. If you don't share you message, it will not be shared, because no one else can do it. Can you feel how powerful that really is?
I used to feel so small and feel that my purpose in life was so small....and I was wrong. So I'm going to share my message of hope and healing based on the things I've lived through and learned. A message that is unique to me, and I'm going to do it because of my deep love and compassion for my fellow men and women, and for you specifically, my friend.
I hope you will do the same, in whatever form your message takes. Only you know what that is and what you were put on this planet to do. I hope you will share that wonderful message with the rest of us....the World awaits you!
My best to you-
Michelle
Sunday, January 23, 2011
The Payoff for Loyalty
In my line of work, I promote Loyalty-to self and family. I see too little of it in society, so I am always striving to encourage and instill it whenever possible.
Loyalty to Self has many components. Let's break it down a little-
Now-what if your spouse does not live by the same creed? What if you cannot trust your spouse?
Well, my dear friend, only you can decide if that is a situation you want to stay in, but I will say this: You be the example and leader. You be loyal to yourself and your spouse and family even if they are not giving you the same, simply because that is who you are and what you feel is right. You are a faithful, loyal spouse. This is too important an issue to play 'an eye for an eye'. Rise above and be the kind of person you want to be and you know you can be. Loyal and respectful to yourself and others. Then if you feel you need to create a different life for yourself, you can do so with a clear conscience and your self worth intact.
My best to you, my friend-
Michelle
Loyalty to Self has many components. Let's break it down a little-
- Loyalty to self also means loyal to your morals and life creed. We all have them whether it is intentional or not. We have all decided in our minds what is right and what is wrong, what we will do and what we will not do. Some people were not taught to have a creed or a set of morals as children, or they have decided to ignore what they were taught. and this is where the problems begin. If you were not taught in your home as a child, I would dare guess that as a human being, you have strong feelings about what is right and wrong. And now that you are an adult, you get to decide what your morals and life creeds are. Maybe you don't agree with what you were taught as a child but you feel stuck in your family traditions. Find what feels right in your heart and deep in your soul. We have so many resources out there-religions, self help conferences and books, mentors and guides. If the creed and morals are a little hard to live by and have some restrictions, you're probably on the right track. Morals and creeds, by definition, are not a free-for-all. Morals and creeds=discipline.
- Because we are connected to our Higher Power or our God, loyalty to self also means loyalty to Him. When things are right between you and your Higher Power, it lays the groundwork for all areas of your life to settle into place. There is a peace that comes into your heart when you feel that strong connection and know that He can count on you, and you can count on Him.
- And finally, loyalty to self also means that you are respectful of yourself in every way, and you expect the same of others. You surround yourself with loving, positive people. You take care of yourself, body and soul.
Now-what if your spouse does not live by the same creed? What if you cannot trust your spouse?
Well, my dear friend, only you can decide if that is a situation you want to stay in, but I will say this: You be the example and leader. You be loyal to yourself and your spouse and family even if they are not giving you the same, simply because that is who you are and what you feel is right. You are a faithful, loyal spouse. This is too important an issue to play 'an eye for an eye'. Rise above and be the kind of person you want to be and you know you can be. Loyal and respectful to yourself and others. Then if you feel you need to create a different life for yourself, you can do so with a clear conscience and your self worth intact.
My best to you, my friend-
Michelle
Monday, January 17, 2011
What is your dream?
Maybe because it's Martin Luther King Jr. Day...maybe because I just took my kids to see the movie 'Tangled', or maybe because I've always been a dreamer-for whatever reason, let's delve into your dreams, shall we?
What do you dream of doing, having or being?
If you've never allowed yourself to go there, be brave and go there now. Give yourself permission and indulge in a few moments of day dreaming. What do you see?
What kind of life would you have if money flowed effortlessly to you and you had no restraints of society?
Where would you live?
What kind of home would you live in?
What would you do with your time and your money?
What would make you truly happy?
Answering these questions is fun...and very powerful! Do you have the answers? Write them down.
You just opened a door, my friend. A door to where everything you've every wanted is granted to you...a place where you can have what you dream. The simple pleasure of allowing yourself to dream just started a creation. The Universe was listening and it has begun to help you attain everything you dream of having, doing or being. Let yourself dream every day, and really FEEL what it will feel like when you have the life you want. The feeling of already having it MAGNETIZES what you want, and it is coming toward you now. What you want wants you! Amazing and incredible, yes. And completely true.
I wrote about the Law of Attraction in an earlier post, and it is the most exciting thing to realize that what you want wants you right back, and is moving toward you simply because you dare to want it. Very brave of you, my friend. And very smart.
Begin to notice all the people throughout history that have done things that others thought couldn't be done. Just because it hasn't been done before, doesn't mean it can't be done. It just means it hasn't been done YET. Be the first! The first in your neighborhood or in your family to do what you've always wanted to do.
It takes courage to dream. I get that sometimes we've been so disappointed so many times that we just put our dreams away, with a lump in our throat and bitter tears swelling in our eyes. I've been there a time or two...or a dozen. But no matter how hard I tried, those dreams just kept coming to the surface, pushing through all the mistrust and pain, begging to be heard and realized. So I stopped fighting them. It was scary, and exhilarating. I let my dreams see daylight and I fed them. I purposely set aside time every day to let them grow and see every detail in my mind, and feel how wonderful it would be to have them realized.
And to my great delight I discovered what power I have over my own life. The biggest and best of my dreams have been fulfilled, and more are on the way! After so many years of thinking that I would never have the life I dreamed of, I'm watching it unfold before me. I feel grateful and blessed, and I want to spread it around. Shout it from the rooftops! DARE TO DREAM, my friends!!!
So if you skipped over those questions I asked you at the beginning, go back and answer them now. Create a whole new great life for yourself. That's my dream for you....
Michelle
What do you dream of doing, having or being?
If you've never allowed yourself to go there, be brave and go there now. Give yourself permission and indulge in a few moments of day dreaming. What do you see?
What kind of life would you have if money flowed effortlessly to you and you had no restraints of society?
Where would you live?
What kind of home would you live in?
What would you do with your time and your money?
What would make you truly happy?
Answering these questions is fun...and very powerful! Do you have the answers? Write them down.
You just opened a door, my friend. A door to where everything you've every wanted is granted to you...a place where you can have what you dream. The simple pleasure of allowing yourself to dream just started a creation. The Universe was listening and it has begun to help you attain everything you dream of having, doing or being. Let yourself dream every day, and really FEEL what it will feel like when you have the life you want. The feeling of already having it MAGNETIZES what you want, and it is coming toward you now. What you want wants you! Amazing and incredible, yes. And completely true.
I wrote about the Law of Attraction in an earlier post, and it is the most exciting thing to realize that what you want wants you right back, and is moving toward you simply because you dare to want it. Very brave of you, my friend. And very smart.
Begin to notice all the people throughout history that have done things that others thought couldn't be done. Just because it hasn't been done before, doesn't mean it can't be done. It just means it hasn't been done YET. Be the first! The first in your neighborhood or in your family to do what you've always wanted to do.
It takes courage to dream. I get that sometimes we've been so disappointed so many times that we just put our dreams away, with a lump in our throat and bitter tears swelling in our eyes. I've been there a time or two...or a dozen. But no matter how hard I tried, those dreams just kept coming to the surface, pushing through all the mistrust and pain, begging to be heard and realized. So I stopped fighting them. It was scary, and exhilarating. I let my dreams see daylight and I fed them. I purposely set aside time every day to let them grow and see every detail in my mind, and feel how wonderful it would be to have them realized.
And to my great delight I discovered what power I have over my own life. The biggest and best of my dreams have been fulfilled, and more are on the way! After so many years of thinking that I would never have the life I dreamed of, I'm watching it unfold before me. I feel grateful and blessed, and I want to spread it around. Shout it from the rooftops! DARE TO DREAM, my friends!!!
So if you skipped over those questions I asked you at the beginning, go back and answer them now. Create a whole new great life for yourself. That's my dream for you....
Michelle
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Take Good Care of You
I have been reflecting on the things we do and say to ourselves when we have major disappointments or traumas. We are hurting and we need someone to blame, and you know who that 'someone' usually is? Yep, our own self. We beat our selves up emotionally and mentally.....sometimes even physically. We call ourselves every name in the book, tell ourselves how stupid we are, go into self destructive modes and tell ourselves that we aren't worthy of anything good. Okay, maybe you have never done this, and if that's true, then I am so proud of you. You are miles ahead of the rest of us! If you HAVE treated yourself this way, you are not alone. I have done and said those very things to myself in the past, and what I have learned is this: You will heal more quickly if you are kind and loving to yourself, and if you are non-judgmental of you.
When you berate yourself and talk mean to yourself, you set yourself for a lot more of what you just got. Other people who don't treat you with respect, spouses who let you down and don't keep their vows, bosses who take advantage of you and treat you like you are expendable.....the list goes on. Why do they treat us like that? We teach them to by the way we are treating ourselves.....and we think we deserve no better than that. They may not treat us with disrespect at first, but we have planted the seed in their head that we approve of being treated badly. Geez, we are even leading the way!
What if we turned it around? What if, instead of beating ourselves up for the latest crisis we are going through, we actually comforted and soothed our own selves? How different would THAT feel? I can tell you, I've done it both ways, and being kind to yourself puts you on a higher plain emotionally. And it takes you down a different, better, more emotionally sound road than you've ever been on.....so that brings better experiences than you've had before! Dare to dream, my friend!
Be your own best friend, your own protector, your biggest fan! Show yourself compassion and gentleness, just as you would extend to your dearest friend in the same situation. Get enough rest, eat good food, do something you enjoy, speak kindly to yourself in your head and heart, and forgive yourself of past mistakes. The past is over....the future is yours to write. And the one person who will always be with you, is YOU. Love and appreciate your constant companion for all the things you've learned, endured, accomplished and experienced.
You are fabulous, my friend!
Michelle
When you berate yourself and talk mean to yourself, you set yourself for a lot more of what you just got. Other people who don't treat you with respect, spouses who let you down and don't keep their vows, bosses who take advantage of you and treat you like you are expendable.....the list goes on. Why do they treat us like that? We teach them to by the way we are treating ourselves.....and we think we deserve no better than that. They may not treat us with disrespect at first, but we have planted the seed in their head that we approve of being treated badly. Geez, we are even leading the way!
What if we turned it around? What if, instead of beating ourselves up for the latest crisis we are going through, we actually comforted and soothed our own selves? How different would THAT feel? I can tell you, I've done it both ways, and being kind to yourself puts you on a higher plain emotionally. And it takes you down a different, better, more emotionally sound road than you've ever been on.....so that brings better experiences than you've had before! Dare to dream, my friend!
Be your own best friend, your own protector, your biggest fan! Show yourself compassion and gentleness, just as you would extend to your dearest friend in the same situation. Get enough rest, eat good food, do something you enjoy, speak kindly to yourself in your head and heart, and forgive yourself of past mistakes. The past is over....the future is yours to write. And the one person who will always be with you, is YOU. Love and appreciate your constant companion for all the things you've learned, endured, accomplished and experienced.
You are fabulous, my friend!
Michelle
Friday, January 7, 2011
What does THAT mean?
I changed the name of my blog today to 'Move On, Be Happy'. This the title of a future book, and my daughter Lindsey came up with the title. I like 'Survive and Thrive' but I also think that I am all about being happy, despite (or even because of) painful experiences, and helping others work toward happiness after their own tough situations.
'Move On, Be Happy' is a life project, but also a frame of mind. You know, when someone hurts you, the best revenge is to be happy. Take your life back. This takes time, but not as long as we all think it will.....it can be much quicker by deciding that you are going be fine-without 'so and so', rather than thinking they ruined your life. It does seem that way at first, I'm the first to admit. I've had my days and nights of sobbing and feeling like nothing would ever be okay again. If you're still in that stage, it's okay. It's normal to feel that way for a bit. The longer we stay there, though, we are stuck and can't move on. At first the pain is so raw and powerful that it feels way bigger than you, and it is important to acknowledge and respect your feelings. Later, it becomes a choice of whether we stay in that place or not.
I used to believe that I had no control over my life or what happened to me. I thought I could only react to whatever life gave me (or dumped on me). Yes, deciding how you are going to handle things is part of it. Part of life. How we handle things that happen to us, define who we are. But the other part of that is that we can attract and bring all great things we want into our lives. Don't roll your eyes.....we really can!
The Law of Attraction is a universal law, just like the Law of Gravity. Whatever we think about and focus on is what we attract. Like attracts Like. So if we are always thinking, "Nothing great ever happens to me," then the Universe has to obey. It also has to obey when we are always thinking, "Things always work out great for me, and I have a wonderful life." This is a broad statement, but try it with smaller things. Self talk is all important in moving on and being happy, so instead of saying to yourself, "I just can't win", try saying, "I have what it takes". Here's something even smaller-rather than, "This restaurant always messes up my order", try thinking and saying, "I always get great service, and I'm grateful for the great service I receive at this restaurant." It's a small thing that can have a big impact on your frame of mind and how you view your life.
It's so easy to look at the negative things that have happened. It takes effort to turn it around and focus and expect positive. And you, my friend, have what it takes!
There are many resources that explain the Law of Attraction, how it works and how you can make it work to your benefit. It works whether we want it to or not, or whether we believe it or not. You may as well make it work FOR you, rather than against you. There are websites, articles, book and movies all dedicated to understanding the Law of Attraction. Begin a quest to understand it for yourself, and you can create the kind of life you've always dreamed of having.
Michelle
Here's some links to learning more about the Law of Attraction:
http://scienceofgettingrich.net/
www.mrfire.com
http://www.thesecret.tv/
http://applying-the-law-of-attraction.com/
http://www.abundance-and-happiness.com/universal-laws.html
'Move On, Be Happy' is a life project, but also a frame of mind. You know, when someone hurts you, the best revenge is to be happy. Take your life back. This takes time, but not as long as we all think it will.....it can be much quicker by deciding that you are going be fine-without 'so and so', rather than thinking they ruined your life. It does seem that way at first, I'm the first to admit. I've had my days and nights of sobbing and feeling like nothing would ever be okay again. If you're still in that stage, it's okay. It's normal to feel that way for a bit. The longer we stay there, though, we are stuck and can't move on. At first the pain is so raw and powerful that it feels way bigger than you, and it is important to acknowledge and respect your feelings. Later, it becomes a choice of whether we stay in that place or not.
I used to believe that I had no control over my life or what happened to me. I thought I could only react to whatever life gave me (or dumped on me). Yes, deciding how you are going to handle things is part of it. Part of life. How we handle things that happen to us, define who we are. But the other part of that is that we can attract and bring all great things we want into our lives. Don't roll your eyes.....we really can!
The Law of Attraction is a universal law, just like the Law of Gravity. Whatever we think about and focus on is what we attract. Like attracts Like. So if we are always thinking, "Nothing great ever happens to me," then the Universe has to obey. It also has to obey when we are always thinking, "Things always work out great for me, and I have a wonderful life." This is a broad statement, but try it with smaller things. Self talk is all important in moving on and being happy, so instead of saying to yourself, "I just can't win", try saying, "I have what it takes". Here's something even smaller-rather than, "This restaurant always messes up my order", try thinking and saying, "I always get great service, and I'm grateful for the great service I receive at this restaurant." It's a small thing that can have a big impact on your frame of mind and how you view your life.
It's so easy to look at the negative things that have happened. It takes effort to turn it around and focus and expect positive. And you, my friend, have what it takes!
There are many resources that explain the Law of Attraction, how it works and how you can make it work to your benefit. It works whether we want it to or not, or whether we believe it or not. You may as well make it work FOR you, rather than against you. There are websites, articles, book and movies all dedicated to understanding the Law of Attraction. Begin a quest to understand it for yourself, and you can create the kind of life you've always dreamed of having.
Michelle
Here's some links to learning more about the Law of Attraction:
http://scienceofgettingrich.net/
www.mrfire.com
http://www.thesecret.tv/
http://applying-the-law-of-attraction.com/
http://www.abundance-and-happiness.com/universal-laws.html
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
New Year Reading List
I'm a book-aholic....non-recovering. Never want to. I love books! There, I said it. Curling up in a cotton quilt on my couch with a novel...pure heaven.
I love novels, and I also love non-fiction. Especially if if they can help me get to my intentions. So today I want to share my book choices for the new year. If you never pick up a book, let this be the year that you do. There are treasures on the pages of good books just waiting for you to claim.
Non-Fiction
The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. If you only read one book this year, I recommend you read this one. The subtitle is 'How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be'. Jack Canfield has lived through much worse than I have and you'd never know it by how grounded, successful and happy he is. Jack is truly an inspiration and an expert on getting everything you want in life, no matter how big it is. I love his style of writing. He has a version just for teens called 'The Success Principles for Teens' that we bought all our teenage kids for Christmas.
The Attractor Factor by Joe Vitale. This is the book my son let me borrow back in July and it started me on a different, better path for my life. Dr. Vitale is warm and has a great way of explaining how to attract everything you want in life
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I enjoyed the book and LOVED the movie. If you have to choose, watch the movie.
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This book is a classic and has been updated with examples for today's world. It's about a lot more than growing rich with money....it's about growing rich in every area of your life.
How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove. One of my friends gave me this book many years ago and I still think about the good practical advice I got. It's a short read, and it's all about healing and feeling better after surviving a loss. Love this book. So if you have just suffered a break up or death of your loved one, this book really does help.
Fiction
September by Rosamunde Pilcher. Set in Scotland, this novel is why I want to go on a trip there so bad. Delicious read.
A is for Alibi by Sue Grafton. This begins the alphabet series of her main character, private detective Kinsey Milhone. I've been reading and loving this series for years. The next is 'B is for Burglar', 'C is for Corpse' and so on. I think Sue is at 'U' in this series. These are just fun PI books set in Southern California....probably fueled my desire to become a PI.
There are many more great novels I've read, and perhaps I'll recommend more later in the year.
Happy Reading, my friend.
Michelle
I love novels, and I also love non-fiction. Especially if if they can help me get to my intentions. So today I want to share my book choices for the new year. If you never pick up a book, let this be the year that you do. There are treasures on the pages of good books just waiting for you to claim.
Non-Fiction
The Success Principles by Jack Canfield. If you only read one book this year, I recommend you read this one. The subtitle is 'How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be'. Jack Canfield has lived through much worse than I have and you'd never know it by how grounded, successful and happy he is. Jack is truly an inspiration and an expert on getting everything you want in life, no matter how big it is. I love his style of writing. He has a version just for teens called 'The Success Principles for Teens' that we bought all our teenage kids for Christmas.
The Attractor Factor by Joe Vitale. This is the book my son let me borrow back in July and it started me on a different, better path for my life. Dr. Vitale is warm and has a great way of explaining how to attract everything you want in life
The Secret by Rhonda Byrne. I enjoyed the book and LOVED the movie. If you have to choose, watch the movie.
Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. This book is a classic and has been updated with examples for today's world. It's about a lot more than growing rich with money....it's about growing rich in every area of your life.
How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Melba Colgrove. One of my friends gave me this book many years ago and I still think about the good practical advice I got. It's a short read, and it's all about healing and feeling better after surviving a loss. Love this book. So if you have just suffered a break up or death of your loved one, this book really does help.
Fiction
September by Rosamunde Pilcher. Set in Scotland, this novel is why I want to go on a trip there so bad. Delicious read.
A is for Alibi by Sue Grafton. This begins the alphabet series of her main character, private detective Kinsey Milhone. I've been reading and loving this series for years. The next is 'B is for Burglar', 'C is for Corpse' and so on. I think Sue is at 'U' in this series. These are just fun PI books set in Southern California....probably fueled my desire to become a PI.
There are many more great novels I've read, and perhaps I'll recommend more later in the year.
Happy Reading, my friend.
Michelle
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A New Beginning
I don't make New Year's resolutions anymore. I set intentions. "I intend to...."
It's like I've already decided I'm going to do something. For me, "I intend to...." has more power than "I want to..." or "I resolve to..."
There have been years in the past when my 'intention' was simply to endure the year. Didn't make any goals, didn't care about much. So if you can relate to that, read on.
We all need things to look forward to in order to have any kind of excitement for life. Even just a little spark of excitement requires that we are looking forward to something in the future. Something that is fun or exciting or comforting.
So what do you really want? Is that a loaded question, or what?!
Several years ago, in the time right after I first learned of my former husband's infidelity, the thing I wanted most in my life was PEACE. I wanted to feel peaceful in my heart and in my head. Whenever I was asked, 'What do you want?", that's the word that popped into my head. PEACE. So I began looking for things that would help me feel peace. I had no idea how I was going to find, I just knew that I wanted it more than anything else.
So it is with anything we want. Whether it's a new job, a vacation to somewhere that you have always wanted to go, a loving relationship in your life, or an abundance of money...you don't have to know how you are going to accomplish it, we only need to set our intention for what we want and begin listening to our intuition about steps to take to get us there. Our brains do not like a vacuum, and it will work double time to close the gap from where you are to where you'd like to be. You'll start getting new ideas of how you can accomplish what you intend to have or make happen. Listen to those ideas and then act! I believe they come from a higher power who knows more that we do. It's like getting advice from the ultimate life coach.
Each new year is new beginning....don't you love it?! It's unwritten and you get to write it! I know that it can feel impossible to pull yourself up out of depression and pain. I also know that it is NOT impossible. It only feels like it, and feelings can change. How do I know that? Because I now have peace in my heart and in my head. Peace, glorious peace! So get on the elevator and come up and away from all the things that hurt you. Plan something that you can look forward to and get excited about it. Plan one thing or many things....plan one thing for every month! Think what a great year you'll have.
May you find your hearts desire this year, my friend. Happy New Year!
Michelle
It's like I've already decided I'm going to do something. For me, "I intend to...." has more power than "I want to..." or "I resolve to..."
There have been years in the past when my 'intention' was simply to endure the year. Didn't make any goals, didn't care about much. So if you can relate to that, read on.
We all need things to look forward to in order to have any kind of excitement for life. Even just a little spark of excitement requires that we are looking forward to something in the future. Something that is fun or exciting or comforting.
So what do you really want? Is that a loaded question, or what?!
Several years ago, in the time right after I first learned of my former husband's infidelity, the thing I wanted most in my life was PEACE. I wanted to feel peaceful in my heart and in my head. Whenever I was asked, 'What do you want?", that's the word that popped into my head. PEACE. So I began looking for things that would help me feel peace. I had no idea how I was going to find, I just knew that I wanted it more than anything else.
So it is with anything we want. Whether it's a new job, a vacation to somewhere that you have always wanted to go, a loving relationship in your life, or an abundance of money...you don't have to know how you are going to accomplish it, we only need to set our intention for what we want and begin listening to our intuition about steps to take to get us there. Our brains do not like a vacuum, and it will work double time to close the gap from where you are to where you'd like to be. You'll start getting new ideas of how you can accomplish what you intend to have or make happen. Listen to those ideas and then act! I believe they come from a higher power who knows more that we do. It's like getting advice from the ultimate life coach.
Each new year is new beginning....don't you love it?! It's unwritten and you get to write it! I know that it can feel impossible to pull yourself up out of depression and pain. I also know that it is NOT impossible. It only feels like it, and feelings can change. How do I know that? Because I now have peace in my heart and in my head. Peace, glorious peace! So get on the elevator and come up and away from all the things that hurt you. Plan something that you can look forward to and get excited about it. Plan one thing or many things....plan one thing for every month! Think what a great year you'll have.
May you find your hearts desire this year, my friend. Happy New Year!
Michelle
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